On my morning walk today, sensing the coolness of the air and twirling my baton, I marveled at how fortunate I was to live in a part of Bengaluru, surrounded by trees. The sense of well being was heightened when joined by an acquaintance with his dog on a leash. We got talking about our respective families and why we had chosen to live in 'an out of the way place'?
Well, the reason for him was that he wanted his kids to study in the 'Valley School', which is a stone’s throw away from us and a well talked about school, particularly for returning exapatriates. Knowing the answer I asked him -'Why Valley School?'He said that it kids are kept away from the mundane competition that kids in other schools face.
Which brings us to the fundamental question, is competition bad? Why does one Sachin Tendulkar, still run around a cricket field, in a creaking body, thrilling us with his genius? Why does, an all time great like Rahul Dravid, have to be advised by a bowler like Shane Warne, on his batting ( He took it in quietly )?Does Bill Gates work for the money? Behind a calm facade, the guys are competitors and will compete with you to the death, if you throw them a challenge! The world celebrates these guys.
Which brings us back to the point, as to whether competition is bad? The fact is, in my opinion, we should be teaching kids to deal with success and failure in life with equinanimity and grace, because the world is neither a fair place nor life one rollicking party! Shying away from competition is like sending our soldiers to fight at Siachen in sneakers. Ill equipped the battle is lost even before it begins.
Australian Keli Lane, a golden girl who was a water polo star was recently convicted in a court room filled with drama, of murdering her baby daughter in 1996, because, she feared that the young kid would jeopardize her chances in the 2000 Sydney Olympics! She has been jailed for 18 years!Can you think of anything more horrendous? Did her competitive spirit lead her to murder or was it a lack of values?Was it poor upbringing? As collective Australia, scratches its head, one can only wonder.
As our conversation was warming up, we were surrounded, by a bevy of dogs, in all shapes and sizes, threatening the little dog on the leash, causing us to beat a hasty retreat.The little dog, did not attempt, to show aggression even once. Not very competitive...............
Street dogs are not something we can talk about with pride in Bengaluru, I reflected!
I explore the last frontier..............humans!
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
On Edge!
A sobriquet long lost is that of Bengaluru being a 'Pensioner's Paradise'. What it has gained in glitz, glamour & energy has been at the cost of a laid back lifestyle and a gentle civility.While the rapid and many say rabid commercialisation of this town has troubled many, the recent spate of high profile murders has really thrown the spanner in the works.
An IT staffer slitting the throat of his wife. A BPO employee being brought down in her prime. What next? Invariably the finger is pointed to a helpless police.However a closer look at what caused the killings would indicate a breakdown in moral values rather than that of law and order.
A fairly senior policeman told me " What can the police do if a husband wants to murder his wife?" I guess that is a question that, society will have to answer. A while ago, I had said that Bengaluru will be the next hub for innovation, simply because it offers the immigrant a cloak against failure and so allows greater risk. Unfortunately it is this cloak that allows many to cross the line in crime as well.
There are no easy solutions. Lifestyles that are driven by material needs are the order of the day and I do not see that changing in the near future. A society driven by aspiration is good as long as it is ready to wait for its just reward. The issue is when we attempt to take shortcuts, driven by peer pressure, to find solutions.Could the IT staffer have divorced his wife rather than killing her? Was the process too long & torturous? Instant gratification can dish out immediate penalties, like the gent is finding out in jail awaiting his sentence.But then who can wait?
A friend, while gently stroking his petunia's, peered at the humongous traffic on the adjacent road and sighed.The sigh, told the story of a city lost, to a generation.....................!A city on edge, to another.
An IT staffer slitting the throat of his wife. A BPO employee being brought down in her prime. What next? Invariably the finger is pointed to a helpless police.However a closer look at what caused the killings would indicate a breakdown in moral values rather than that of law and order.
A fairly senior policeman told me " What can the police do if a husband wants to murder his wife?" I guess that is a question that, society will have to answer. A while ago, I had said that Bengaluru will be the next hub for innovation, simply because it offers the immigrant a cloak against failure and so allows greater risk. Unfortunately it is this cloak that allows many to cross the line in crime as well.
There are no easy solutions. Lifestyles that are driven by material needs are the order of the day and I do not see that changing in the near future. A society driven by aspiration is good as long as it is ready to wait for its just reward. The issue is when we attempt to take shortcuts, driven by peer pressure, to find solutions.Could the IT staffer have divorced his wife rather than killing her? Was the process too long & torturous? Instant gratification can dish out immediate penalties, like the gent is finding out in jail awaiting his sentence.But then who can wait?
A friend, while gently stroking his petunia's, peered at the humongous traffic on the adjacent road and sighed.The sigh, told the story of a city lost, to a generation.....................!A city on edge, to another.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The hypocrisy of it all!
The other day while reading the Sunday news paper, I suddenly stopped chuckling to myself, as I caught my wife's enquiring look.She was a little alarmed when I told her that I was reading an article on the Bhopal Gas Tragedy, an event that left many thousands maimed or dead, twenty five years ago to this day.
Why laugh at at the horrible tragedy was her logical question? I had to hastily explain that I wasn't laughing at the tragedy per se, but at a bit of history.............
While at school, we would be hauled off to an industry every month, for an 'Industry Visit'. For thirteen year old's, it was a novelty and fun, except that, we would have to write a report post the event.
One such visit took us to Union Carbide. The American subsidiary, exported shrimps & prawns and after looking at various very very dead prawns of different shapes and sizes, a chappie drifted along and directed us to a room, where he said we would be served refreshments.
About forty of us ( boys & girls ) got to this room in pretty good time, when all hell broke loose . A table loaded with 'cookies' and coke was attacked & there was a general free for all ( Coke was not as freely available as it is today & we had not heard of cookies). The girls had no chance. I in my defense can say, that I was a fraction late off the blocks, as there was a twinge on conscience, but then who can resist freebies?
When the melee ended, the sight was a sorry one and we were admonished first by the manager & then by the girls who were the only ones to have retained a modicum of dignity. The scene haunted me for many years, particularly the UC Manager ticking us off on our lack of manners.The eventual fall out was that our trips were cancelled after we were chastised by our Principal in front of the school.
What's the connection you might well ask?
Well, the irony is that we as thirteen year old's were ticked off for being unruly in a firm which indulged in mass murder at Bhopal a few years hence and where their head honcho, scooted from this country and refused to stand trial, while many of those who suffered continue to cry out to a nation that has forgotten.
Maybe I should have wept.....................at the hypocrisy!
Why laugh at at the horrible tragedy was her logical question? I had to hastily explain that I wasn't laughing at the tragedy per se, but at a bit of history.............
While at school, we would be hauled off to an industry every month, for an 'Industry Visit'. For thirteen year old's, it was a novelty and fun, except that, we would have to write a report post the event.
One such visit took us to Union Carbide. The American subsidiary, exported shrimps & prawns and after looking at various very very dead prawns of different shapes and sizes, a chappie drifted along and directed us to a room, where he said we would be served refreshments.
About forty of us ( boys & girls ) got to this room in pretty good time, when all hell broke loose . A table loaded with 'cookies' and coke was attacked & there was a general free for all ( Coke was not as freely available as it is today & we had not heard of cookies). The girls had no chance. I in my defense can say, that I was a fraction late off the blocks, as there was a twinge on conscience, but then who can resist freebies?
When the melee ended, the sight was a sorry one and we were admonished first by the manager & then by the girls who were the only ones to have retained a modicum of dignity. The scene haunted me for many years, particularly the UC Manager ticking us off on our lack of manners.The eventual fall out was that our trips were cancelled after we were chastised by our Principal in front of the school.
What's the connection you might well ask?
Well, the irony is that we as thirteen year old's were ticked off for being unruly in a firm which indulged in mass murder at Bhopal a few years hence and where their head honcho, scooted from this country and refused to stand trial, while many of those who suffered continue to cry out to a nation that has forgotten.
Maybe I should have wept.....................at the hypocrisy!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Are you self centred?
A concept from Organization Behavior that I find very interesting is 'narcissism'.All of us are self centred to an extent & rightly so because you need to survive this tough and competitive world. You need to get by and do that by protecting your interests.
Being a Narcissist, is another cup of tea. Narcissists are so self centred that they firmly believe that the world revolves around them and people exist to make their life easier. They take help and move on. They pretend that you do not exist anymore if they feel that you may not be of any future assistance.
Narcissism is an important concept, at the workplace, because, if your boss is one such person, then you either accept it as fate or run for cover. I would suggest the latter because working with narcissists can be very damaging to one's psyche.
Over the last few months I've followed the case of Maria Susairaj, with a fair amount of interest. The starlet from Mysore, connived with her fiance to murder her boyfriend!All very confusing, but then who said life is simple & straight.
Maria's fiance an officer with the Navy, apparently saw red when he caught Maria's colleague at her house, assumed it was a coup d’un soir & killed him. What followed was even more bizarre!
The lady saw which side of the bread was buttered and helped the fiance cut the corpse into small pieces with a kitchen knife and helped in disposing the body. What a bloody mess!
On being caught she sang like a Canary & implicated her fiance in toto.No qualms for this lady.Maria now cools her heels in jail but if you thought that that was the end of this sad story then you are mistaken.
Apparently she took time off last month to have her pretty face treated for acne!
Narcissism is a personality trait which can cause devastation at the workplace, if you let folk like this run amok.
Henry Ford was one and the only person who could control the man was his wife. Ford once had a banquet where the guest list ran into thousands. He then commissioned a painting of the banquet & much to the painter's chagrin would have people who had fallen foul of him removed from the painting. The harassed painter all but retained his sanity.
How do you recognize a narcissist?
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
1. Believing that you're better than others
2. Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
3. Exaggerating your achievements or talents
4. Expecting constant praise and admiration
5. Believing that you're special
6. Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
7. Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
8. Taking advantage of others
9. Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
10.Being jealous of others
11.Believing that others are jealous of you
12.Trouble keeping healthy relationships
13.Setting unrealistic goals
14.Being easily hurt and rejected
15.Having a fragile self-esteem
16.Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.Most narcissists have a high sense of entitlement which hides a very very fragile ego and they border on going over the edge at the slightest provocation. Unfortunately most of them live in a unreal world but hurt real people and therein lies the rub.........
I know I'm sticking my neck out here...... but I find the youngster's sense of entitlement disturbing and I hope they grow into well adjusted individuals and steer clear of being self centred.
Folk, anybody less than thirty I'm looking for a reaction!
Being a Narcissist, is another cup of tea. Narcissists are so self centred that they firmly believe that the world revolves around them and people exist to make their life easier. They take help and move on. They pretend that you do not exist anymore if they feel that you may not be of any future assistance.
Narcissism is an important concept, at the workplace, because, if your boss is one such person, then you either accept it as fate or run for cover. I would suggest the latter because working with narcissists can be very damaging to one's psyche.
Over the last few months I've followed the case of Maria Susairaj, with a fair amount of interest. The starlet from Mysore, connived with her fiance to murder her boyfriend!All very confusing, but then who said life is simple & straight.
Maria's fiance an officer with the Navy, apparently saw red when he caught Maria's colleague at her house, assumed it was a coup d’un soir & killed him. What followed was even more bizarre!
The lady saw which side of the bread was buttered and helped the fiance cut the corpse into small pieces with a kitchen knife and helped in disposing the body. What a bloody mess!
On being caught she sang like a Canary & implicated her fiance in toto.No qualms for this lady.Maria now cools her heels in jail but if you thought that that was the end of this sad story then you are mistaken.
Apparently she took time off last month to have her pretty face treated for acne!
Narcissism is a personality trait which can cause devastation at the workplace, if you let folk like this run amok.
Henry Ford was one and the only person who could control the man was his wife. Ford once had a banquet where the guest list ran into thousands. He then commissioned a painting of the banquet & much to the painter's chagrin would have people who had fallen foul of him removed from the painting. The harassed painter all but retained his sanity.
How do you recognize a narcissist?
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
1. Believing that you're better than others
2. Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
3. Exaggerating your achievements or talents
4. Expecting constant praise and admiration
5. Believing that you're special
6. Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
7. Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
8. Taking advantage of others
9. Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
10.Being jealous of others
11.Believing that others are jealous of you
12.Trouble keeping healthy relationships
13.Setting unrealistic goals
14.Being easily hurt and rejected
15.Having a fragile self-esteem
16.Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.Most narcissists have a high sense of entitlement which hides a very very fragile ego and they border on going over the edge at the slightest provocation. Unfortunately most of them live in a unreal world but hurt real people and therein lies the rub.........
I know I'm sticking my neck out here...... but I find the youngster's sense of entitlement disturbing and I hope they grow into well adjusted individuals and steer clear of being self centred.
Folk, anybody less than thirty I'm looking for a reaction!
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