Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Are you self centred?

A concept from Organization Behavior that I find very interesting is 'narcissism'.All of us are self centred to an extent & rightly so because you need to survive this tough and competitive world. You need to get by and do that by protecting your interests.
Being a Narcissist, is another cup of tea. Narcissists are so self centred that they firmly believe that the world revolves around them and people exist to make their life easier. They take help and move on. They pretend that you do not exist anymore if they feel that you may not be of any future assistance.
Narcissism is an important concept, at the workplace, because, if your boss is one such person, then you either accept it as fate or run for cover. I would suggest the latter because working with narcissists can be very damaging to one's psyche.
Over the last few months I've followed the case of Maria Susairaj, with a fair amount of interest. The starlet from Mysore, connived with her fiance to murder her boyfriend!All very confusing, but then who said life is simple & straight.
Maria's fiance an officer with the Navy, apparently saw red when he caught Maria's colleague at her house, assumed it was a coup d’un soir & killed him. What followed was even more bizarre!
The lady saw which side of the bread was buttered and helped the fiance cut the corpse into small pieces with a kitchen knife and helped in disposing the body. What a bloody mess!
On being caught she sang like a Canary & implicated her fiance in toto.No qualms for this lady.Maria now cools her heels in jail but if you thought that that was the end of this sad story then you are mistaken.
Apparently she took time off last month to have her pretty face treated for acne!
Narcissism is a personality trait which can cause devastation at the workplace, if you let folk like this run amok.
Henry Ford was one and the only person who could control the man was his wife. Ford once had a banquet where the guest list ran into thousands. He then commissioned a painting of the banquet & much to the painter's chagrin would have people who had fallen foul of him removed from the painting. The harassed painter all but retained his sanity.

How do you recognize a narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

1. Believing that you're better than others
2. Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
3. Exaggerating your achievements or talents
4. Expecting constant praise and admiration
5. Believing that you're special
6. Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
7. Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
8. Taking advantage of others
9. Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
10.Being jealous of others
11.Believing that others are jealous of you
12.Trouble keeping healthy relationships
13.Setting unrealistic goals
14.Being easily hurt and rejected
15.Having a fragile self-esteem
16.Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.Most narcissists have a high sense of entitlement which hides a very very fragile ego and they border on going over the edge at the slightest provocation. Unfortunately most of them live in a unreal world but hurt real people and therein lies the rub.........

I know I'm sticking my neck out here...... but I find the youngster's sense of entitlement disturbing and I hope they grow into well adjusted individuals and steer clear of being self centred.

Folk, anybody less than thirty I'm looking for a reaction!

5 comments:

Aakanksha Agnihotri said...

Personally, i guess i do cross the border line.. i think myself to be special but do not undermine my colleagues as they i see are better than me in many ways.. I want to defend my behavior (which might make you smile but i will go on..) there are so many critical people around us that sometimes i see pessimistic comments are the only comments i garner from them.. living in a reverie thus proves to boost my confidence, thinking i am good and that i am better helps me tackle the perpetual critics around us. A mild narcissism i think is the best way to handle ceaseless pessimism..

sandeep.aba said...

Sir

If we turn the books of Psychology and want to prove anyone being unhealthy its very easy.For each & every activity of human behaviour there will be some point which will prove it.
So symptoms in psychological concept relating to disorder is very vague for the so called Perfect/healthy peoples.
That means we all are any way or the other, psychologically deceased(quantum may be different)which means i'm totally cofused for your question!How about you?

Sandeep

Radhika said...

The word "Narcissism" in my opinion is too strong.. an extreme. A lower level concept would be "Arrogance." Arrogance is a trait that I personally loathe in people but as Aakansha rightly pointed out that it may be a form of "defense mechanism" to keep one's psychological balance.

There are only 2 kinds of ppl who might be arrogant - one, who are extremely good and second, who crave for social inclusion and acceptance. There are a 3rd kind who are self-confident but are perceived otherwise.

As far as psychological disorders go, ppl who fall under the"narcisstic" category will fall on one small extreme of the normal distribution curve and the youth below 30 will unfortunately be a certain decimal percentage and not the norm!

Capt A.Nagaraj Subbarao said...

Radhika...

Arrogance & Narcissism are two aspects of personality. Many of us are arrogant, depending upon the situation & circumstances.

Narcissm is very different. It is a personality disorder....wherein a person is so steeped in himself/herself that their behaviour borders on the unreal.

The story does not deal with arrogant people, it deals with a narcissist and for me the distinction is clear.

Also, if you think, that it goes in natural sequence.... arrogance, narcissist.........., no I do not think so....

Sandeep....

Me....interesting question.

I was percieved as arrogant.Many times it was fear getting me to behave arrogantly.

Am I a narcissist......

I do not think so....simply beacuse I've been in healthy relationships and have loved & been loved, something that a narcissist finds difficult to do.

Also I do not think all of us are psychlogically diseased.......please do not be harsh on the human race....

And Aakanksha......

Fear is the key............most often gets us to behave irrationally.

This will get you to smile....

For many years, I found it difficult to talk to girls naturally ( course grew up in a different era ) & was percieved to be arrogant.Was it arrogance....no, just plain fear....

Radhika said...

I think psychological disorders are often used in the wrong context. (remember how often the term "mad" or "retard" is used?) Psychological misfits are found rarely among a very minute and negligible percentage. Maybe that it applied to the lady here but whether it applies to every second, fifth or the tenth person .. I dont think so..! As per arrogance, it is a more common phenomena and is an offshoot of Narcissism. Can it be found more sparingly? Do ppl cross the lines of self-confidence to reach arrogance, yes! Can all these be placed on a continuum, most definetely! :)