It has become fashionable to be seen as no nonsense, tough talking person at the workplace. What is the effect of this tough talking on your team or colleagues? There is a fine line between being rude and being straight and as managers it is fundamental that we recognize this.
How proactive must the HR department be and what is at stake in terms of poor Organizational Behavior or Dysfunction. Unfortunately the issue of dysfunctional office behavior has thrown up a whole lot of other critical HR issues ranging from attrition to grievance redressal.
My boss calls and I’m in the middle of a meeting with a colleague, but I grab the phone and answer it, ready to run. It must be important – after all, it's the boss! Never mind that my colleague and the meeting are important too. The colleague can lump it. He does not do my appraisal.
We know that behaviors like this are rude. We wouldn't behave in this way outside of the office. So why do we then allow ourselves to behave dysfunctionally at work?
Is it the pressure of work or on occasions we believe that we can get away with poor behavior? There is a definite double standard when it comes to workplace manners. But you can't allow these behaviors to persist if you want to create and maintain a healthy work environment.
Not to be confused with bullies, rude and undermining colleagues are those who question others’ judgment, exclude others from situations, interrupt others when speaking, make derogatory comments, withhold information or belittle others’ ideas.
A few examples of poor office behavior in India are.
· Gossiping in the garb of 'networking' is the favorite pass time as nearly 60 per cent respondents love to indulge in it and do not consider it unethical. ( Bangalore-IT)
· Taking credit for subordinate's ideas is not unethical, says Bangalore and Ahmedabad, while rest of the cities beg to differ with an average score of 42 per cent.
· Interestingly, one in every four respondents in Chennai has experienced mobile/wallet thefts at the workplace!
· An astonishing 74% of those surveyed in Ahmedabad do not think that falsifying time (of arrival at or departure from work) in the attendance register is unethical.
While the above may border on the unethical there is no shortage of disrespectful and uncouth behavior which makes members of your team unhappy, and damages the cohesion of your team. It is a de motivator and will eventually destroy team cohesion. Research found that victims of bad manners or incivility are less engaged at work, less committed to their organization, not as prepared to go the extra mile and more likely to resign,” said Barbara Griffin, an organizational psychologist with the University of Western Sydney. The sample of 54,000 employees from 179 organizations across Australia and New Zealand, reported a higher frequency of bad behavior from their co-workers, but when their manager or a senior leader was the instigator the negative effect on engagement was even stronger.
As a Manager or the HR team to make sure your workplace is free of dysfunctional behavior requires a two-pronged strategy:
Reward good manners.
Drive out poor manners.
Reward Good Manners
Most of the time when bad manners surface at work it is unintentional. It's easy to get caught up in your own tasks and projects. People's focus gets so narrow that they forget to consider the impact that their words or actions will have on other people.
In an attempt to be efficient and productive we take a few liberties with our manners at work. Perhaps, at one time, we apologetically said, "I'm sorry, we are running out of time and move onto the next point." But now we blurt out, "Next!" or "Let's get on with it, folk!" or even worse ‘Cut the crap’.
While the intention may be the same, the degree of bluntness, or even rudeness, used nowadays is unacceptable – at work or anywhere.
If good people are bruised by someone else's rudeness once too often, you risk losing them. How long is it going to take to find an equally good replacement, and bring them "up to speed"? How much is this going to cost? And what opportunities will you have lost in the meantime?
When disrespectful conduct starts surfacing throughout a company, or when it's used by executives or other key people, it can become part of the organization's culture. Poor manners can be quickly absorbed into cultural norms, especially when no one stands up and demands courteous and polite behavior. The HR team must be alert to the situation and act before poor behavior turns endemic.
So what can you do if rudeness is already deep rooted within the culture of your organization?
In conjunction with your colleagues, focus on the problem behaviors and create a list of the behaviors that are expected within your team. Be specific so that people really understand what constitutes good manners. Depending on where the problems lie, you may want to include these items:
Email and Internet expectations.
Where people eat.
What people wear?
Meeting routines and etiquette.
Working in close proximity.
Communication style – tone, manner, language.
Use of supplies and equipment.
Telephone manners.
Request key executives to demonstrate all the appropriate behaviors in your own actions. Acting as a role model is one of the most effective means of reinforcing what is acceptable and expected.
Until things improve, consider adding this as an agenda for your regular team meeting to emphasize and entrench the importance of change.
Reward people for demonstrating polite behavior. Make a point of thanking people for turning off their cell phones before entering a meeting.
Until things improve, consider adding a manners category to your performance review process.
Driving Out Bad Manners
Encouraging good manners is one side of the coin. On the flip side, it requires developing mechanisms and strategies to eliminate poor manners from your workplace. When workplace manners begin to slip, it can be hard to stop the slide and regain control.
Open communication and empathy are perhaps your strongest weapons for controlling discourtesy in the office. When people stop talking or sharing their experiences and concerns, or when they stop considering how their actions make others feel, poor behavior can start to work its way into the fabric of the organization's culture.
You start noticing that your pen or writing pad are missing from your desk. You don't say anything because it's not a big deal. You don't want people to think you're cheap or a complainer so you keep quiet.
First, you have to have a workplace where there is open and honest communication. When you do, your co-workers feel comfortable voicing their concerns and there are mechanisms in place for resolving conflicts.
Along with these, people must also believe that something will done to address their concerns and grievances. They have to see that their issues are taken care of and that management is just as concerned about poor behavior as they are.
On the flip side, people must take responsibility for their actions. They must think about the impact of what they say or do has on other people and the workplace in general. Whenever you have people working together, there has to be a high level of respect and concern for others.
Some tips for creating this type of workplace include:
Developing a staff feedback system.
Clearly defining what is not acceptable in terms of appropriate workplace behavior. This should refer to the "good manners" document you create as part of the process of encouraging good manners.
Applying a fair and consistent discipline procedure.
Creating a conflict resolution process that begins with people speaking directly to one another, but where they then get progressively more outside support and assistance if a solution can't be worked out.
Depending on national culture, consider encouraging people to use the words "I'm sorry" or "I apologize" – and mean it.
Encouraging people to ask themselves, "How would the other person like to be treated in this situation?" Perhaps even put these words and phrases in prominent areas of the office as reminders to be polite and courteous.
Tips for dealing with bad mannered co-workers:1. Do not reciprocate the behavior. Reacting with similar actions can quickly spiral into increasingly aggressive behaviors.2. If circumstances permit, set up a discussion with the person and tell them that you find their behavior offensive.3. Understand your organization’s policies and procedures. If the situation worsens, you can then report the offensive behavior in an official manner.4. If you are stressed and upset by the behaviors, talk to a psychologist or make use of confidential employee assistance programs.
As HR managers we must quickly rise to the occasion, to stamp this rather insidious lack of discipline which can destroy a great organization.
Sources”
1. The study titled Nothing Ethical about Ethics encapsulates views of the corporate workforce on workplace ethics across eight cities in India — New Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Kolkata, Ahmedabad, Hyderabad and Pune.The study commissioned by TeamLease Services and conducted by global research company Synovate in May and June, covered top 500 companies and had a sample size of 401.
2. University of Western Sydney website.
3. HBR- Feb 2004. Breakthrough Ideas for 2004: The HBR List
4. The No Asshole Rule—Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t.- Robert I. Sutton
5. Managing Emotions in the Workplace: Do Positive and Negative Attitudes Drive Performance? –Knowledge@Wharton, 2007
I explore the last frontier..............humans!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Is the Mentor/protégé relationship a utopian one?
Capt. A.Nagaraj Subbarao.
Career planning, is not something that is rare in Indian Industry today. Attrition rates are climbing without a break, and one of the most common cited reason for an employee to leave his/her incumbent job is because they are at a dead end without a definite career plan in sight.
Another classic example of an employee quitting a job, is because he/she is suddenly overwhelmed, on being promoted. Leave alone enjoying the challenge, the promoted employee, is under tremendous pressure right away and by the time he/she should be hitting their straps, they are rife with disillusionment and ready to run for cover.
Mentoring is seen to be an important cog in the Career Planning process, but what little is seen of it in our Industry, is an exercise in futility, mainly because deep communication chasm’s develop between the Mentor & his/her protégé. A suitable match is vital for the partnership to develop, grow and sustain itself.
How does a mentor help a protégé? Some ways are
· Recommending the protégé for promotion.
· Creating situations where the protégé can display his special skills.
· Steering the protégé away from controversy.
· Help the protégé deal with difficult situations.
What’s the difference between a good and a not-so-good mentor? One of the problems both in selecting mentors for a pool and in matching individual mentors with protégés is that the answer varies according to the context and the specific needs of the protégé.
Is it possible to identify some generic skills for mentors, however? Equally, can we identify some generic skills for protégés?
Good mentors reinforced rapport at each meeting. They summarized during the discussion, but ensured the protégé summarized at the end. They challenged and encouraged as the need arose. They talked less than 20% of the time. They made use of very good, penetrating questions, but gave considered advice when it was called for. Good mentors allowed adequate space for the protégé, to pause, consider and reflect.
So what are those reciprocal behaviors? Some of them identified so far are:
Communication: The mentor needs to be able to explain good practice and illustrate it through story and anecdote. He/she also needs to enthuse, coax, empathize and stimulate reflection – all through adept use of language. At the same time, the effective mentor is able to help the mentee articulate their thoughts, feelings and ideas through appropriate questioning and the use of visual aids, such as diagrams.
The protégé needs many of the same skills, to ensure that the mentor both understands the issues they present and responds in the appropriate manner. Poor articulation doesn’t have to be a matter of putting logical thoughts together and expressing them clearly. Some people are emotionally inarticulate -- they struggle to access and describe their feelings. Both incapacities can be very difficult for a mentor to manage.
Listening: Effective mentors spend less than 20% of session time talking. They recognize the importance of helping the protégé work things through and establish his or her own insights. They use questions to make frequent shifts of perspective, so that the protégé can understand the issues more fully. They are also skilled in the use of silence, often suggesting that the protégé take a few minutes to reflect quietly on a particular insight.
Protégés also need to exhibit good listening skills. Much of what the mentor says may contain subtle differences.
Respect: Without respect on both sides, the relationship will never achieve the level of openness required. Respect is not the same as deference or ingratiation – it is based on recognition of the value of the other person’s intellect, values and experience. Along with respect for each other goes respect for oneself – an appropriate mix of self-regard and humility that allows each to question and be questioned and have confidence in their ability to bring about change.
Understanding: The mentoring dialogue can often seem rather shallow, if neither of them is prepared or able to dig deeply into the roots of issues. Finding the appropriate patterns, themes and connections between events is critical. Working on analysis together helps strengthen mutual understanding at several levels and builds the rapport between mentor and mentee.
Goal View: Mentors and protégés need to have a clear understanding of the protégés objectives. If these change, both need to be able to recognize that this has happened and adjust accordingly. In addition the more the proteges understand the mentor’s goals, the easier it is for them to ensure the relationship is reciprocal. Among the skills of establishing goal clarity are helping people decide what they don’t want, exploring commitment and breaking up big objectives into smaller, more readily achievable steps.
Interest: One of the most common complaints of mentors and protégés is that they do not feel the other person is challenging them sufficiently often or strongly. More than in almost any other environment, the mentoring relationship is one that allows constructive confrontation, where both parties find their assumptions questioned and can play a devil’s advocate with success. In many cases, protégé report that this is the most useful part of the relationship, while mentors report that this is the part that provides them with the greatest intellectual challenge and interest.
EQ: Both mentor and protégé require at least a degree of emotional intelligence to understand their own motivations and to build empathy with each other. Self-awareness is essential for the mentor, to be a proactive and insightful role model and to recognize when and how to draw appropriately on their own experience. For the mentee, self-awareness provides a practical foundation, upon which to reflect and to select what to adopt from the mentor’s advice and example
Commitment to learning: Current research suggests that commitment to learning is more important than commitment to the relationship, in terms of both appropriate behaviors and outcomes for the mentee. Mentors, who have given up active learning, tend to be more self-obsessed and directive than those, who genuinely see the relationship as an opportunity to develop their own skills and acquire new understandings.
Preparation: Alongside lack of time to meet, one of the principal reasons mentoring relationships fail is that one or both parties fails to invest time in thinking through, either before or after the mentoring dialogue. With e-mail, there really is no excuse in most circumstances for the mentee not to forewarn the mentor a few days ahead of what s/he would like to talk about. In preparing for the meeting, the mentor should attempt to establish the facts about their issue, explore what they want to achieve from the dialogue with the mentor and, where possible, identify some examples to illustrate the dilemma they face. Some effective mentees hold an imaginary conversation with the mentor, to provide greater depth to their preparation. After the mentoring session, the mentee should always spend at least an hour reflecting on what has been said and examining the implications more deeply.
The mentor also needs to spend time ahead of the meeting, thinking through a road map.
Managing: Effective mentors, have the flexibility to adapt to a variety of protégé, needs. They also have sufficient of a store of techniques and generic questions to vary their responses as needed. They also demonstrate an awareness of how the relationship evolves – when to encourage the mentee to engage in the process, when to review progress and when to gradually disengage from the formal relationship, empowering the mentee to become self-sufficient.
Effective protégés have sufficient understanding of the mentoring process to contribute to it – helping the mentor help them. There are some competencies, which may be needed by the mentor or protégés only – for example, the mentor needs to have a sense of the big picture and to be able to draw on a deeper or wider range of experience, without imposing this knowledge upon the mentee. However, the majority of the competencies, as we have seen, are mutual in nature.
What happens, if one of the parties lacks some of these skills? In these cases, a range of additional support services may be needed to help the protégés make good use of the mentoring opportunity.
Where the mentor lacks key skills, it may prevent the relationship getting off the ground, or reduce the range of benefits the protégé, the mentor and the organization achieve. Hence the importance of relationship reviews – in defining areas, for skills improvement.
Where the review process is supplemented by opportunities for mentors (and where possible, protégés) to share learning and practice new skills, the quality of the relationships and the program as a whole tends to be high. Supervision by more experienced mentors also has a positive impact.
Commitment: For the mentor operating in a non-professional context, it isn’t necessary to be competent in all the areas outlined above. It’s normally sufficient to be average and to be committed to a gradual development of capabilities in the role.
For any relationship to grow and be fruitful the association must bring tangible value to the parties involved and it is the same here as well. While the protégés would be thrilled at being mentored or shepherded through a career, the mentor must believe that the relationship is helping him/her grow and is not one sided.
While this attempt might look utopian in the present scenario, a serious effort must be made with an eye on the future to balance and make a rather delicate relationship work.
Proactive behavior on both sides equips the protégés in turn with the skills and confidence to become mentors themselves, in due course and to build a sustainable cycle, of trust and relationship.
In my interaction with industry, I have rarely come across, an organization where a successful mentor-protégé relationship has been built and sustained itself, mainly because, of insecurities on both sides and a perception that the mentor is not being suitably rewarded for his/her efforts. Only when the partners, get to acknowledge that they own the process and that the mentor is doing a service that will eventually aid his own career, that we will see success of this rather wonderful but sadly neglected concept.
Our culture (Indian), also clearly demarcates, relationships between the junior/senior, old and young, creating a block even before the journey begins. For the mentoring process to even begin we need to bridge hierarchies and destroy cultural barriers.
Capt. A.Nagaraj Subbarao.
Career planning, is not something that is rare in Indian Industry today. Attrition rates are climbing without a break, and one of the most common cited reason for an employee to leave his/her incumbent job is because they are at a dead end without a definite career plan in sight.
Another classic example of an employee quitting a job, is because he/she is suddenly overwhelmed, on being promoted. Leave alone enjoying the challenge, the promoted employee, is under tremendous pressure right away and by the time he/she should be hitting their straps, they are rife with disillusionment and ready to run for cover.
Mentoring is seen to be an important cog in the Career Planning process, but what little is seen of it in our Industry, is an exercise in futility, mainly because deep communication chasm’s develop between the Mentor & his/her protégé. A suitable match is vital for the partnership to develop, grow and sustain itself.
How does a mentor help a protégé? Some ways are
· Recommending the protégé for promotion.
· Creating situations where the protégé can display his special skills.
· Steering the protégé away from controversy.
· Help the protégé deal with difficult situations.
What’s the difference between a good and a not-so-good mentor? One of the problems both in selecting mentors for a pool and in matching individual mentors with protégés is that the answer varies according to the context and the specific needs of the protégé.
Is it possible to identify some generic skills for mentors, however? Equally, can we identify some generic skills for protégés?
Good mentors reinforced rapport at each meeting. They summarized during the discussion, but ensured the protégé summarized at the end. They challenged and encouraged as the need arose. They talked less than 20% of the time. They made use of very good, penetrating questions, but gave considered advice when it was called for. Good mentors allowed adequate space for the protégé, to pause, consider and reflect.
So what are those reciprocal behaviors? Some of them identified so far are:
Communication: The mentor needs to be able to explain good practice and illustrate it through story and anecdote. He/she also needs to enthuse, coax, empathize and stimulate reflection – all through adept use of language. At the same time, the effective mentor is able to help the mentee articulate their thoughts, feelings and ideas through appropriate questioning and the use of visual aids, such as diagrams.
The protégé needs many of the same skills, to ensure that the mentor both understands the issues they present and responds in the appropriate manner. Poor articulation doesn’t have to be a matter of putting logical thoughts together and expressing them clearly. Some people are emotionally inarticulate -- they struggle to access and describe their feelings. Both incapacities can be very difficult for a mentor to manage.
Listening: Effective mentors spend less than 20% of session time talking. They recognize the importance of helping the protégé work things through and establish his or her own insights. They use questions to make frequent shifts of perspective, so that the protégé can understand the issues more fully. They are also skilled in the use of silence, often suggesting that the protégé take a few minutes to reflect quietly on a particular insight.
Protégés also need to exhibit good listening skills. Much of what the mentor says may contain subtle differences.
Respect: Without respect on both sides, the relationship will never achieve the level of openness required. Respect is not the same as deference or ingratiation – it is based on recognition of the value of the other person’s intellect, values and experience. Along with respect for each other goes respect for oneself – an appropriate mix of self-regard and humility that allows each to question and be questioned and have confidence in their ability to bring about change.
Understanding: The mentoring dialogue can often seem rather shallow, if neither of them is prepared or able to dig deeply into the roots of issues. Finding the appropriate patterns, themes and connections between events is critical. Working on analysis together helps strengthen mutual understanding at several levels and builds the rapport between mentor and mentee.
Goal View: Mentors and protégés need to have a clear understanding of the protégés objectives. If these change, both need to be able to recognize that this has happened and adjust accordingly. In addition the more the proteges understand the mentor’s goals, the easier it is for them to ensure the relationship is reciprocal. Among the skills of establishing goal clarity are helping people decide what they don’t want, exploring commitment and breaking up big objectives into smaller, more readily achievable steps.
Interest: One of the most common complaints of mentors and protégés is that they do not feel the other person is challenging them sufficiently often or strongly. More than in almost any other environment, the mentoring relationship is one that allows constructive confrontation, where both parties find their assumptions questioned and can play a devil’s advocate with success. In many cases, protégé report that this is the most useful part of the relationship, while mentors report that this is the part that provides them with the greatest intellectual challenge and interest.
EQ: Both mentor and protégé require at least a degree of emotional intelligence to understand their own motivations and to build empathy with each other. Self-awareness is essential for the mentor, to be a proactive and insightful role model and to recognize when and how to draw appropriately on their own experience. For the mentee, self-awareness provides a practical foundation, upon which to reflect and to select what to adopt from the mentor’s advice and example
Commitment to learning: Current research suggests that commitment to learning is more important than commitment to the relationship, in terms of both appropriate behaviors and outcomes for the mentee. Mentors, who have given up active learning, tend to be more self-obsessed and directive than those, who genuinely see the relationship as an opportunity to develop their own skills and acquire new understandings.
Preparation: Alongside lack of time to meet, one of the principal reasons mentoring relationships fail is that one or both parties fails to invest time in thinking through, either before or after the mentoring dialogue. With e-mail, there really is no excuse in most circumstances for the mentee not to forewarn the mentor a few days ahead of what s/he would like to talk about. In preparing for the meeting, the mentor should attempt to establish the facts about their issue, explore what they want to achieve from the dialogue with the mentor and, where possible, identify some examples to illustrate the dilemma they face. Some effective mentees hold an imaginary conversation with the mentor, to provide greater depth to their preparation. After the mentoring session, the mentee should always spend at least an hour reflecting on what has been said and examining the implications more deeply.
The mentor also needs to spend time ahead of the meeting, thinking through a road map.
Managing: Effective mentors, have the flexibility to adapt to a variety of protégé, needs. They also have sufficient of a store of techniques and generic questions to vary their responses as needed. They also demonstrate an awareness of how the relationship evolves – when to encourage the mentee to engage in the process, when to review progress and when to gradually disengage from the formal relationship, empowering the mentee to become self-sufficient.
Effective protégés have sufficient understanding of the mentoring process to contribute to it – helping the mentor help them. There are some competencies, which may be needed by the mentor or protégés only – for example, the mentor needs to have a sense of the big picture and to be able to draw on a deeper or wider range of experience, without imposing this knowledge upon the mentee. However, the majority of the competencies, as we have seen, are mutual in nature.
What happens, if one of the parties lacks some of these skills? In these cases, a range of additional support services may be needed to help the protégés make good use of the mentoring opportunity.
Where the mentor lacks key skills, it may prevent the relationship getting off the ground, or reduce the range of benefits the protégé, the mentor and the organization achieve. Hence the importance of relationship reviews – in defining areas, for skills improvement.
Where the review process is supplemented by opportunities for mentors (and where possible, protégés) to share learning and practice new skills, the quality of the relationships and the program as a whole tends to be high. Supervision by more experienced mentors also has a positive impact.
Commitment: For the mentor operating in a non-professional context, it isn’t necessary to be competent in all the areas outlined above. It’s normally sufficient to be average and to be committed to a gradual development of capabilities in the role.
For any relationship to grow and be fruitful the association must bring tangible value to the parties involved and it is the same here as well. While the protégés would be thrilled at being mentored or shepherded through a career, the mentor must believe that the relationship is helping him/her grow and is not one sided.
While this attempt might look utopian in the present scenario, a serious effort must be made with an eye on the future to balance and make a rather delicate relationship work.
Proactive behavior on both sides equips the protégés in turn with the skills and confidence to become mentors themselves, in due course and to build a sustainable cycle, of trust and relationship.
In my interaction with industry, I have rarely come across, an organization where a successful mentor-protégé relationship has been built and sustained itself, mainly because, of insecurities on both sides and a perception that the mentor is not being suitably rewarded for his/her efforts. Only when the partners, get to acknowledge that they own the process and that the mentor is doing a service that will eventually aid his own career, that we will see success of this rather wonderful but sadly neglected concept.
Our culture (Indian), also clearly demarcates, relationships between the junior/senior, old and young, creating a block even before the journey begins. For the mentoring process to even begin we need to bridge hierarchies and destroy cultural barriers.
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