Humility it is said, is not about thinking less about ourselves but more about thinking about ourselves less ........................
I know it looks a bit confused, but I'm sure it will strike a chord when you go through the line slowly. A definite issue these days is the deep rooted self centeredness that has set in like a cancer. The cause of this problem, could be laid at the doorstep of the modern parent, who is so obsessed with trying to live his/her life through their kids and provide them with every possible comfort, that many a time the child loses perspective.
Being the absolute centre of attraction gives many a kid a very high sense of self esteem, without capabilities & skills to match.The high self esteem leads to a very high sense of entitlement where rewards are to be had without the ensuing labor. Most of these folk are found wanting when they enter the rough and tumble of the real world, where mama & papa are not around to hold the proverbial little finger to navigate them past life's issues. The ensuing frustration, depression & swings from euphoria to melancholy are sad to see but fairly easy to comprehend.
When we were growing up, we were told ( always & everytime ) that you would be rewarded if you proved yourself and that the process of reward was a journey and not a quick solution.I'm glad, that this was the diet that my generation grew up on because it kept the sense of entitlement at bay & also put life into better perspective so that we were left with better tools to deal with failure & success.
I think it is very important for the young to experience failure, boredom, frustration & fear without the parent rushing in at short notice to solve the problem.Probably, a few knocks on the way, would teach many of us the meaning of humility and gratitude......................and also because it is cruel, in the long run, to deprive a person the ability to deal with life's problems themselves.
Like a great person said " Give your kids roots, but also wings" Let them fly, alone, it will make them less self centred & more human!
7 comments:
It is very observant on your part to realize the fine line between supporting children and making them dependent on parents for every small thing... and i admire that you being a parent to an adolescent could observe the distinction.. hats off... this issue needs to be addressed especially kids growing up in cosmopolitan cities where both parents are working...
True.
Hits early in life is a blessing as it leads to course correction earlier too. Simply said there is no worthwhile experience without going through the tough stages of life where one has to stand on one's feet and deal by self the problems encountered. Problem is a perception. Weak mind percieves everything as a problem for someone else to solve. We must thank the difficulties that confront us as they prepare us better for the life ahead. Without those testing times we are nowhere near life the wonderful experience.
AAK,
Well said!
I also agree that it seems to be more an issue with urban kids!
Very well written, Sir!
very true sir,, infact it reminds me of my first hostel experience. now-a-days due to the busy schedule the parents cant spend much time with their kids and to substitute that they give them whatever they want. Also the parents are over protective and doesn't want their kids to struggle even a little bit and ends up doing anything and everything for the kids that makes them more weak and dependant. as you said sir, it's very important for them to experience struggle,boredom,frustration because they really help them in long run.
Vasudha,
I'm glad you see my point of view!
To make it sure that I dont fumble.. I learn from the tumbles... Its good to convert thorns into petals and blocking stone into stepping stone..but as very aptly said by you there should be a limit..some freedom must be given so that they themselves convert their blocking stones into stepping and rather learn how to make out a bridge from these stepping stone in order to be what we rae supposed to be..HUMAN!
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