A few days ago, I was at my dentist's to have a painful tooth attended to. Having a fairly low threshold of pain I was at my grumpiest. The drill started with a pretty lady Junior dentist first examining my teeth- molar to canine & amidst friendly banter passed me on to a guy with a crew cut & scowl on his face. This gent was brusque,cold & cut me short every time I wanted to say something.
I was pretty annoyed, in fact very annoyed & in order to vent my feelings found the junior lady doctor an appropriate target.I did not spare the male dentist & called him all sorts of names.I also reflected, as to how the guys wife could live with an idiot like that, all the while ignoring the feeble defense of my lady friend and frantic signals from the reception. Eventually satiated, I found a seat to park myself & retreated. After a while the receptionist informed me with a glint in her eye, that the pretty lady dentist & the painful guy were husband & wife. What a horror! The events that followed are too painful to relate here, but the point is that, how could I have been so abysmally low in intellect?
OB Theory will tell you that these kind of people ( me ) are what are called as 'low self monitors' & are notorious for gaffes. Self-monitoring refers to how individuals control and regulate their self-presentation in social situation. High self-monitoring individuals typically act in accordance with the demands of their social setting. They are attuned to the image they project to others, and they are particularly adept at regulating their self-presentation to fit these situational demands. As a result, their behavior may change from situation to situation. In contrast, low self-monitoring individuals rely on their attitudes, beliefs, and values to guide their behavior. Consequently, they are more likely than high self-monitoring individuals to show greater consistency in their behaviors from one situation to the next.
I had a very jovial captain, who could not resist cracking jokes & got demoted because he cracked a joke in a very serious situation!While high self monitors rise higher professionally, there is evidence suggesting that high self-monitors could have difficulty sustaining long-term relationships. With regard to jobs, high self-monitors have lower job commitment and are more likely to quit their jobs than are low self-monitors. In addition, high self-monitors are less committed to their dating relationships and more willing, than low self-monitors, to leave their current romantic partners for others . Finally, high self-monitors are more prone to divorce than are low self-monitors and experience more stress because they are very concious of the impression that they create.
So what are you?
6 comments:
Hi
I am definitely low self monitor and i guess low is not good as by experience which is very fresh i am facing consequences for just being myself (upfront) rather than being tactful...
well sir, I would like to start off with your experience with the lady!! mistakes do happen and with the conversation you had with her,, she could explain her husband to be more sensitive to to their clients, so that they can have a much better experience. and yeah I am definitely a low self monitor and believe in going ahead slowly and steadily rather than being a high self monitor and over burden and stress yourself to an extent where you end up messing up things!!!
LSM!
This piece of writing has really got me thinking about self monitors as a personality type. I somehow perceive high self monitors in a different way. If we simply break down the two words- self-monitors and try understanding the literal meaning then we would come close to referring such personality types as those people who have the ability to control their true 'selves'. A high self monitor has the ability to understand what the situation demands and act accordingly. They may work effectively with different kinds of people, given their ability to adapt, sense and do what is required at a given point of time. I fail to subscribe to this notion that says that high self monitors are worried about the impressions that they leave. I think they are more worried about doing what the situation demands and are willing to act in a way that would serve the purpose rather than behaving in a fixed or rigid way. This even makes great at handling crisis. And this is precisely the reason I believe that they may be able to do well in personal relationships as well. I somehow perceive them to be flexible, adaptable and smart enough to know when to say what. What is intriguing is that when is it that they genuinely opine themselves and express what they really feel rather than doing what the situation warrants...
Harkirt,
It is not good or bad, black or white!
HSM are extremely smart & as I have said do extremely well, but sadly, as I have also said, have relationship issues, be it with their personal or professional live.
These findings are from well founded research.................
LSM on the other hand do not seem to care & taht too carries a price!
Even if one is a low self monitor chances are that with personal and professional experience you start to become a little considerate about the social settings that you are in or vice-a-versa. Example:Although I lean towards a high self monitor ppl still perceive that I am straightforward and blunt.
And yes logically it makes perfect sense that LSM's would be better at rships and HSM's at professional lives. But hopefully, we'll learn to achieve a partial balance!
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