English Law

Lawyers are some of the most hated species in the United States. the following would probably explain why.....

The following conversation apparently took place in a court room in the US of A:( At least courts are convened)

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

The attorney guilty of using jargon, went right over the head of the witness.

This piece brings home the point that English is a wonderful language when free of jargon and is not convoluted.

A few more pieces of conversation would drive home the point.....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS : No.ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY : I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.